Z? Zim Z?
by Invader Nny
Summary: this is what happens when the worlds of Zim and JtHM collide! "death and morons" as jhonen once said.
1. Johnny and his guest

Z? zim? Z?  
  
Screams, that echoed through the chambers of the basement deep below the surface, were far too muffled to be heard by Johnny's guest, sitting in the quaint little appropriately named, livingroom. If you went past the livingroom, chances are you wouldn't be living for much longer. It was quiet with just the quick nervous breaths of the guest. You could almost hear the rapid heartbeat that still resided in behind their ribs. Johnny thought, "I can fix that for you"  
  
He perched atop a wooden box, digging the metal tips of his boots into the floorboards. The room, lit only by what moonlight seeped in between the boards nailed over the windows, held no decor that the guest could notice. The floor was littered with papers and sketches. Abandonded "Happy Noodle Boy" comics our Johnny had discarded. It angered him to draw these comics; they merely reminded him of a better time when he could throw himself into his work and create images that were so much more than just angry stick figures. Now just faded memories and faded paintings remain.  
  
Johnny exhaled and stood. Tall and sickly thin, he looks harmless. Looks. He paced back and forth, eyes casted downward. The guest could no longer stand the silence. The eboney haired boy hugged his trenchcoat close and cleared his throat. Johnny stopped pacing, his back currently toward the boy.  
  
"Dib, did you say your name was?" Johnny said without looking at him. There was a deffinate resemblence between them both, though this "Dib" being much paler than our Johnny.  
  
"y-yes....I didnt quite get your name." Dib tried to keep his voice from trembling .  
  
"Johnny." He replied coldly. He started pacing again. "Paranoia....Paranormal...."He turned to face Dib "What is the difference, Dib?"  
  
Dib thought for a moment, opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted as Johnny answered his own question.  
  
"Paranoia you believe that there are things out to get you, no one believes you. Paranormal are the things out to get you." Johnny let out a laugh. "Do you know what I'm talking about, Dib?"  
  
Dib knew quite well. The paranormal was his life. He studied all forms, but as of late he had an obssession with aliens. A certain alien.  
  
"D-do you believe in the things out to get you?" Dib questioned the tall stranger, with all the innocence of a child.  
  
Johnny looked him over. Much less weak looking than the neighbor kid. Not nearly as much fear towards him from Dib as there was from Squee. There was something in Dib's eyes that Johnny hadnt seen in anyone else's whenever he was around - trust.  
  
Johnny laughed again, muttering to himself, "I am one of the 'things out to get you.' " He sat back down, more relaxed than before. "Yes, Yes Dib. I believe in mostly everything."  
  
Dib decided to try the impossible, no one ever belives his alien story."Do you believe in Aliens?"  
  
"HA! Whole heartedly!" Johnny leaned back and grinned at this thought. Dib's eyes widened.  
  
"Would you believe me if i said that there was an invader from another planet bent on enslaving us all, living among us?" Dib knew for sure that Johnny would look at him like he was crazy.  
  
"hmmm......." He pondered on this point for a moment. "This alien...tell me more about him, and you may call me Nny, as friends would if i had any other than a floating, petrified rabbit's head."  
  
Dib blinked, wondering if he was serious. He shook his head and disregarded the rabbit comment.  
  
"Well, Nny, he's a....uh... well im not sure what his race is called. His name is Zim and he tries to pose as a human but he's GREEN!!! He wants to enslave us ALL!!!" His fists were balled and he was near screaming. Calm down, Dib. he told himself silently.  
  
"Zim...." Nny ran a hand through his black spiked hair. "I'd like to meet this.....invader..."  
  
"So you believe me???" Dib asked, hopefully.  
  
"At this point, Dib, I'll believe anything." Nny nodded slowly. "You see this Zim often?"  
  
"Everyday! He tries to pose as a student in my skool." Dib leaned foreward. "Someday I WILL expose him as the alien that he really truely is!!! Nny, Will you help me save mankind from this horrible invasion?"  
  
Johnny laughed. Save mankind? It was rediculous. "Dib, I will infact help you with your quest. But I have a question for you: Why aren't you afraid of me?"  
  
Dib shrugged. "You believe me. You dont think I am crazy. Most everyone says I am crazy. They sent me to the crazy house for boys one time when I was partialy trapped in a nighmare world. These creatures all wanted to escape the nightmare world through my head. MY HEAD IS NOT THAT BIG!!!" Dib once again reminded himself to stay calm.  
  
"Hmmm....quite so. Now, Dib, we shall stop Zim but for now just retreat back into your life. I'll find you when it is time to thwart Zim. I like that word, Thwart. Don't you? Its just so much fun to say. Thwart Thwart Thwart." Johnny smiled. "Pleasent dreams, Dib."  
  
"And to you, Nny." Dib said as he rose and walked to the door. Niether of the two would sleep that night, or any night for that matter.  
  
***  
  
Dib left the 777 house and walked alone under the dim street lights. Johnny lived on the other side of the town and it was a long journey to go there and seek out the "scarey neighbor man" that Squee had referred to. Squee, also called Todd, was also a student in the skool, younger than dib, and was asparanoid as the day was long. He had heard Dib talk about Zim being an alien and told him that he believed his story. When Dib asked him for help, Squee was terrified to do anything. But he mentioned his nieghbor, Johnny and the many scary sounds coming from his house. Dib decided to approach Johnny and ask his assistance on the matter.  
  
The night air felt colder as Dib neared Zim's so called "house". It's pitiful attempt at being an human home was almost laughable. Zim decorated the outside with security devices desguised as lawn gnomes, and other tacky ornaments. A sign stood, baring the slogan "I (HEART) EARTH". Surprisingly, this house actually fooled everyone who saw it, except Dib. He knew that directly below the "house" layed Zim's Underground Bass.  
  
Dib glanced into the window and saw the metally challenged robot, GIR sucking on the straw of a Cherry Brainfreezy and stareing blank-faced at the TV as the glow of the "Scary Monkey Show" danced over his face. Zim was no where to be seen.  
  
"Soon, Zim. Very Soon you will be disected on an operating table and the world will know about you and you plot." Dib laughed into the silence.  
  
***  
  
Zim worked well into the night, trying to repair the damage on the vootrunner done by GIR. How was an invader suposed to get anything acomplished when his SIR is completly, well, stupid? Zim sat in the cockpit of the runner, preforming tests when he heard GIR screech and immediatly there was a crash from the "kitchen".  
  
"what now?" he thought outloud as he took made his way to the kitchen. "GIR!!!! What are you doing???" Zim shrieked when he saw his SIR.  
  
"We're out of tacos. I Looooooooooooooooooooove me some tacos. Master, can i get tacos??? I NEED TACOS!!" GIR said in his childlike voice. He sat in the middle of the floor surounded by debris. He had tore apart the kitchen looking for his beloved taco. GIR looked up at Zim with his sad adorable blue eyes, then walked away singing the doom song. Zim shook his head and sighed. He glanced up at the clock.  
  
"AHH! Curses!! Im late for skool!!!" and with that he quickly scrambled to adorn his human disguise and dart out the door.  
  
***  
  
Ms. Bitters sat at her desk and began to lecture about armageddon as Zim rushed to his desk, panting.  
  
"The enitire universe will impode upon its self. All of humanity will perish because of--ZIM!!! YOURE LATE!!!" She snarled at him. Dib sneered at the alien and looked back at the drawing in front of him. An irken corpse rested upon an autopsy table with Dib laughing hystarically, shoving a blade into the alien's squeedley spooch. Dib giggled and signed the sketch.  
  
"What's so funny, Dib?" Zim asked sarcasticly.  
  
"Oh just the thought of your demise and failure in taking over the world." Dib said as he slide the drawing into a folder.  
  
"Dont be silly, fellow student, why would I want to take over the world?" Zim replied with a superior grin. Dib cursed and waited patiently through Ms. Bitters's morbid, gloomy lecture. The day would soon be over.  
  
****************************  
  
invader nny: well it wasnt THAT bad. An entire chapter with johnny and NO ONE DIES!! its-its-its UNHEARD OF!! *sigh* i must make up for it in chapter 2...  
  
. 


	2. GIR's NEW FRIEND!!!

Dib sat atop his roof, where he used to listen for alien transmissions. It was past midnight and like most every night, he was wide awake. It had been a week since that night he went to Johnny's. Dib wondered what Nny meant by "I'll find you when it is time to thwart Zim".  
  
"He'll find me? How would he know where to find me?" He asked no one imperticular. "And what the Hell did he mean by a 'floating, petrified rabbits head'?! No wonder that todd kid is so scared of him."  
  
"If you only knew the things that went on in the darkness." a voice came from the shadows. Dib looked up, startled as Johnny stepped out into the moonlight.  
  
"Nny! How did you know where i live?" Dib asked trying not to sound too surprised to see him.  
  
"Come, Dib, Show me this alien." Nny turned and hopped off the roof, landing on his feet in the backyard. Dib peered over the edge.  
  
"If its all the same to you i think i will take the long way down." Dib called down to him.  
  
Johnny shrugged, "Suit yourself."  
  
Dib crawled through the open window and made his way through the house, careful not to wake his sister. He opened the backdoor and slipped out. Johnny was stareing up at the sky, rocking back and forth on his heels.  
  
"It's so vast and deep. So many planets, so many stars." Nny sighed, "Now about this invader."  
  
"Right." Dib lead the way to Zim's house. Soon, they were standing outside of the Zim's home.  
  
"THIS is the secret alien bass?" Nny said with a laugh. He took a step closer and Dib grabbed his arm.  
  
"Careful, the gnomes are denfense mechanisms." Dib warned.  
  
Nny almost brust out laughing, "Guard gnomes?? That almost as retarded as the 'I heart Earth' sign! And this actually fools some people?!"  
  
"Actually it fools everyone,"Dib said, "Amazing, isnt it?"  
  
Nny was already past the gnomes and looking into the window.  
  
"Is that Zim?" he asked, pointing to GIR who was sitting with his toy octopus on top of his head.  
  
"Shhhhhhh... You'll set off the alarms!" Dib hissed as he tried to get past the gnomes to catch up to Nny.  
  
"well, is that Zim?" Nny asked again.  
  
"No, thats his pet robot or something. THATS Zim!" he said as Zim entered the living room. He looked over to Nny who was already by the side of the house. Dib watched in shock as Johnny appeared in the shadows, behind Zim.  
  
***  
  
"I love this show..." The adorably mentally challenged robot said, as he stared blankly at the TV.  
  
"I know you do, GIR." Zim sighed as he walked into the room. The air in the room grew thick and Zim's anntenae twiched. He slowly turned, now faced with a tall, grinning, taser weilding man.  
  
"C-can i help you?" Zim asked in a feeble voice, not able to find any other words.  
  
"Are you Zim?" Johnny leaned foreward, bringing his face within an inch of the invader's.  
  
"YUP! He's Zimmy!! Awwwe look, master is scared!!" GIR danced around the two of them "Do you like brain freezies, Mr Scarey Taser Person?"  
  
Nny turned slowly to face the little dancing robot. He smiled and patted GIR on the head. Zim gaped at this.  
  
"Why, aren't you a cutie? What flavor freezy is that?" Johnny cooed and tilted his head. GIR shoved the frozen drink into Nny's face.  
  
"CHOCOLATE BUBBLEGUM!!" GIR grinned and said happily, "ya want some?"  
  
Johnny laughed, "Sure!"  
  
GIR handed him the freezy and chirpped "I like you! My name is GIR"  
  
Nny took a sip of the drink and smiled. "You can call me Nny" he held his hand to shake GIR's.  
  
"Umm...excuse me, 'Nny'," Zim said his name akwardly. "um, why are you in my house?"  
  
"O yes. that reminds me..." Nny grabbed the alien's arm and jabbed the taser into Zim's neck. Zim screeched and went unconcious. Nny gingerly took him in his arms and walked out the door, GIR, now dressed in his puppy costume, following his new friend closely. Dib gasped.  
  
"Now, was that hard?" Nny grinned.  
  
"I admire you, Nny." Dib smiled and looked up to the tall maniac with adoration.  
  
*** 


End file.
